half of me is ocean, half of me is sky - the imagery works so well because it gives us that harmonized scene of a wide sky above an ocean, each reflecting the other even if one appears a little darker and more chaotic or texturized than the other. Both are boundless and expansive, and we have to embrace both to really love ourselves and let ourselves be loved. 

We need to view them as reflections of where we're at and evaluations of what we need to work on rather than measures of our worth as a human being. Our worth lies in all the practice and work, the unglamorous grind that takes place off the stage and continues when the spotlight ends.

It’s hard to admit that we’re still waiting for everything to work itself out, and it takes trust to accept that we’re where we need to be for that to happen. And if we can really trust in those promises, even the ones that seem as if they may never come to fruition for us, we might be able to find the strength to take the next step even if it’s in the dark with only patches of light to guide us.

We’re here by the grace of God, and that’s what overwhelms Vedder as he sings from this place of goodness. When we choose to look at that grace and let ourselves be present in it, the fear subsides. 

By and by is both the waiting time and the connection at once, a request for patience and a promise to keep showing up on the road towards that home. It all comes by and by, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

The war ends when we surrender our self will and begin the work of recovery, but even in recovery, we can find ourselves resorting to old behaviors without realizing it. We can give ourselves some grace with this process if we keep in mind that the war wasn’t erased from our experience; rather, it’s something we’re still actively getting over.

Choosing to love without reservation is simultaneously the greatest risk we can take and the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others. We risk rejection, hurt and disappointment in choosing to trust and love, but we also give ourselves freedom from that shelf we kept our hearts on for so long when we made the self-serving choice to let fear dictate how we loved and received love.

Turning around means we can’t just stop drinking and erase all past actions and current problems from our lives. We have to turn around and look at our lives, look at the resentments we’ve accumulated and the harm we’ve caused, and do something about it.

The monster moment is different for everyone, and it doesn’t always spark a huge change. Often, it’s a quietly devastating glimpse of the reality that the self we see looking back at us is no longer the self we thought we knew to be who we are at our core.

The waiting is the hardest part, because we’ve gotten a taste of something from a dream, but now we know the role of patience and acceptance. Acceptance is the waiting, the patient endurance of the hard work that true recovery, that life requires.

‘Let Me Drown’ is a farewell song that is dark in its despair, but it contains a glimmer of hope.

Keep you head up, keep your love

We don’t realize we’re diving down.

It must be exhausting always rooting for the Anti Hero.